Emotions!

So many emotions to deal with these last couple of days!  I'm so overwhelmed.

My sister-in-law has been enduring the most frustrating pregnancy I've ever heard of!  She has been sick every single day, multiple times a day for about 8 months now.  She's been going back and forth to hospitals every week, and now she's there, admitted, but no one knows what's going on.  No doctor seems to take her seriously.  I feel so helpless out here, so far away from her and the rest of my family.  Although I know that if I was there, I still wouldn't be able to do anything about it.  But I still would like to be there with her and them - just a little emotional support.

And also I'm angry!  I am so mad that professors assign extra assignments after everything is over and you're hoping to finish writing papers.  It's as if they think we have no life other than the part that involves their class.  And these classes don't even have anything to do with my life or my future goals!!!!  GRRRRRR  And other professors come to me and say that what I did on an assignment is crap and they argue with me for half an hour, refusing to see my point.  Don't bother arguing with me if you're not willing to listen.  I'm listening to you, but apparently since I'm a student, I have no insight into anything.  When will anyone take me seriously and stop treating me like a child?  Why do they say that I am doing well then give me a lecture on how to do better?  Are they nuts?  Do they expect perfection?  They're feeding into the defect of my character - STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm at that point where I don't even want anyone to cheer me up.  I'm upset and I have a right to be upset.  Why is it that some emotions are labeled as negative and we are told to avoid them, but we are told to show 'positive' emotions even though we don't feel them?  Why should I stop being angry and put a fake smile on my face?  That's not helping anyone.

So, basically, I can't wait to get out of here right now.  I'm so sick of this crap - I need a break and a chance to breathe.  I need familiarity and comfort, and people that do not challenge me on every little point.  I want home.  Is that bad?  I'm 23 but I still find comfort with my family.

PS: I'm sick of writing in a particular style, making sure that ideas connect and are clear to the reader, so this post is definitely not edited.  This is not a research paper - it's my life.